Suffocating
by The Genius Mage
Summary: Belated Secret Santa for Upon the Rocks. The nightmare that tore across her vision reminded Shiki that she was sitting beside a boy that hadn't hesitated to try and kill her...


_*~.Suffocating.~*_

"_Don't kill me."_

_Her plea slipped out of her mouth before she could stop it, she began backing up just a little. Neku was looking at her with his dark blue eyes fringed by orange hair, and after only a moment's hesitation, his reply came._

"_I have to."_

_Was she so insignificant to him that she was only worth a second's thought?_

_His hand lifted slowly, ever so slowly, and she was far too exhausted by the fight to do anything. She didn't even know if she could bring herself to hit him, and Mr. Mew seemed to grow stiff and immobile as invisible fingers grabbed her throat. She begged for him to stop, but Neku was coldly indifferent. In the force of his telekinesis, several other objects began to hover near her, and yet she still couldn't fight. She struggled, dragging her nails against the unseen power that was choking the life out of her body. She was suffocating. She was going to die._

_Again._

_Her eyes began to roll in their sockets, and blackness invaded her vision as she was suspended like a helpless puppet on imperceptible strings…_

With a shriek Shiki awoke, panting and clawing at the covers of her bed. Mr. Mew toppled over the edge and landed on the carpeted floor with a soft thump. She reached over and, shaking visibly, hugged the black cat to her chest, tears of fear streaking down her face, blurring her already fuzzy vision. Fumbling, she put her glasses on after trying to clear her eyes and the first thing she saw was a picture of her and Neku.

The Neku in the picture was smiling faintly. The Neku in her nightmares never grinned. She tried to tell herself that he hadn't meant it, but she couldn't help but wonder…

If Mr. Hanekoma hadn't come in to save her, would he have done it? Killed her? Not even quickly, but with the slow, terrible, airless sensation of feeling your body shut down and your senses fade out around you until you're so lightheaded that you beg for death…?

Shiki tried to assure herself he never would have gone through with it, but why was she still so uncomfortable? Her ribcage seemed to be shuddering due to the rapid pulses of her heart. She looked for a long time at the picture of Neku and her, in one of those photo booths at 104, before removing her glasses once more and trying to go back to sleep.

~***~

"You look terrible."

Neku's painfully blunt statement made Shiki readjust her glasses with a sigh. They were sitting on one of the couches in her living room, the TV on some random news channel. Neku was eyeing her with a concerned expression, tapping his fingers against his knee. She shrugged.

"Had a nightmare last night," Shiki explained. She kept a tight hold on Mr. Mew, whose head had flopped down onto her arm. She fiddled with his ears as Neku asked,

"What was it about?"

Her strained silence alerted him that something was wrong, this wasn't just _any_ nightmare. "The Reaper's Game?" He hazarded a guess.

"S-Something about that."

"Hm." Turning his head to the side slightly, the boy didn't sound so happy himself as he muttered, "It wasn't about looking like Eri, was it?"

Shiki knew he knew a lie when he saw one. "No."

"It wasn't about Rhyme being eaten or me versus Megumi?"

She shook her head again.

Neku's eyes softened. "It was about me…choking you." It wasn't a question, and Shiki flicked her gaze around the familiar white-gold-black color scheme of her living room, desperate to look at anything except him.

She felt his hesitant touch on her shoulder. "I told you before; I'll never hurt you anymore. Remember?" When she nodded in response, Neku gave another sigh.

"You trust me, don't you?" He asked.

_Trust your Partner._ Wasn't that what Mr. H always said? Shiki looked him in the eyes, and she wondered if she did. Her silence made him uneasy; she could see it all in his sapphire blue gaze. "Of course," she said just a few heartbeats later than necessary.

Neku surprised her by catching her in a hug. For a moment Shiki reveled in the close contact, because it was something the pair rarely did, but the sensation...

With his body pressed close to hers, she had difficulty breathing.

_Her throat convulsed wildly as it strained to throw off the psychic influence to draw in a breath. Still the darkness tore chunks from her ragged vision…_

With a shrill cry she pushed Neku back and recoiled against the couch, dipping her head to hide it in her hands, the nightmare flashing so vividly in her mind that she swore she was reliving the moment.

Neku was stunned, and slowly he straightened up to look at her with such a pained expression that she felt her heart twist in sympathy. "Neku, I'm sorry—"

"Don't." He cut off. Carefully, as if she was a creature ready to flee at the slightest moment, he approached Shiki and caught her in a gentle, looser hug. Her face was still free to draw in air, and she was relieved when the flashback didn't tear across her vision like exploding wildfire. "Shiki, I'm sorry for that. It'll never happen again." The next words he growled as if directing them to the entire world. "I'd sooner kill myself than hurt you again. Okay?"

Several seconds ticked by where the only noise was her ragged breathing and the TV. She hugged him back. "I know, I'm just being silly."

"I'm lucky you forgave me so fast."

"Did I have a choice? I had to trust you…and I'm glad I did."

"So am I." Neku replied. Very, very softly he kissed her so that their lips barely touched, and in that moment Shiki realized that the memory disturbed him just as much as her. It would have been death for both of them if one died…

From that point on, nightmares or not, Shiki tried not to let it bother her. Neku had apologized, he hadn't meant to do it, and now she honestly trusted him with her life. She closed her mind to the memory and didn't let it bother her new opinion of him.

It was just, sometimes, when Neku got angry and fixed her with his coldest glower, or when he kissed her so passionately it left her breathless, the images ravaged her heart and mind despite her hardest attempts to subdue it.

The memory of suffocation, in a body that wasn't hers, in a Game of death, against a boy with eyes as cold as ice.

~***~

**_The super belated Secret Santa for Chris/Upon the Rocks! XD_**

**_Sorry for the shortness--I was going to lengthen it, but then it just felt disgustingly drawn out. This is for your Neshiki Friendship/Angst category. If it fails, and probably does, then I totally owe you another. Send me a PM, all right?_**

**_Happy late Christmas. Hehe~._**


End file.
